Is The Wanted’s new single the best piece of musical criticism…ever?

the-wanted-walks-like-rihanna-1367411955-custom-0There’s something I never thought I’d ask…

The answer to that question – and whether or not the song deserves one iota of respect – depends on how in touch the guys are with their collective sense of irony.

First, let’s examine the criticism, summed up by the soul-destroying vacuum of a chorus:

“She can’t sing. She can’t dance. I don’t care, she walks like Rihanna”.

I’d like to think of this as a very astute piece of postmodern criticism – that cultural value (i.e. talent) has been rendered obsolete by the rise in preferable imagery (style over substance). It doesn’t matter if you’re crap, or offer nothing of “cultural value”, as long as you look nice.

Next, for the undying respect of Baudrillard and his peers, they’ve chosen to present their criticism of superficial, hot-topic crap-pop from within that very medium. Sheer bloody genius! Tears shall be shed in tribute to their insolence – they’ve turned from rather odious din-makers into the high council of cultural criticism in one brief, utterly passionless encounter (insert party-relevant joke here).

Of course, this assumes that the criticism is intentional, and that The Wanted understand the beauty of their piece. If not – and they’re as aware of the song’s irony as they are of crew-neck tops – well, it’s just a festering pile of awful.

So, place your votes… genius or guff?


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